Governor Christie: I suffer from Metabullyc Syndrome

In the State of the State speech in New Jersey, Governor Christie disclosed very personal and sensitive information that explains the whole George Washington bridge scandal. At long last, we have an honest account of the traffic jam.  

“I suffer from Metabullyc Syndrome” revealed the Governor. This is a rare disease related to the well-known Metabolic Syndrome, which is the cause of obesity in many people. “This is a mutation of the Metabolic Syndrome. In addition to causing obesity, it also leads to uncontrolled episodes of bullying,” said Dr. Apollo Gia from the Institute of Republican Diseases and Pretexts. “Metabullyc disease can cause uncontrolled vengeful behavior. There is nothing the patient can do about it without proper treatment. This is not a criminal case, this is a medical case” observed Dr. Gia.

The good news, Christie said, is that it can be treated. “I’m already taking a heavy dosage of Bullytrophia. Doctors said that I should be in great shape by 2016.”